Thursday, August 13, 2015

Warren Cop: OVI Checkpoints are educational, not punitive. The rest of us: Wait? WHAT?

Good news, citizens. Turns out that we've all been wrong about OVI Checkpoints. They're being used to educate the public, not to harass citizens going about their business or even to punish intoxicated drivers. They're merely teaching tools.

So remember ...
  • If you get caught in a checkpoint and diverted
  • If they make you do the stupid human tricks
  • And if you fail, when they arrest you
  • And your car is impounded
  • And license revoked
  • And your picture is in the Hard Times
  • And you go to court
  • And, if guilty, you pay a fine
  • And the court costs
  • And attorney fees
  • And the fees to get your car out of impound
  • And the fees to get your license back
  • And the higher insurance rates
all of those actions all purely educational on the behalf of the police, not punitive. 

We get that information from an article today on about an OVI Checkpoint planned for Trumbull County this weekend:

"The Trumbull County OVI Task Force will be conducting a sobriety checkpoint on Friday, August 14, according to an email from Warren Police Officer Ben Harrell.

The checkpoint will be conducted in the Howland-Warren area. Officers will be looking for intoxicated drivers.

Checkpoints are not designed to punish drivers but to educate the public, according to Harrell.

Harrell did not immediately specify where within the Howland-Warren area the checkpoint will take place, or at what hours of the day police would be on patrol for the checkpoint."

Holy. Shit. Turns out police officers are just really teachers. 


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

GOP Debate Drinking Game, 2015 Edition, V1

I know politics and bars make strange bedfellows, but if you're going to watch the first GOP debate Thursday night, there is a drinking game. Because there always is. 

We've combined several we've found online for your enjoyment tonight. 

Here are the rules:

Drink the first time:

  • Donald Trump mentions his wealth, or how smart he is.
  • A candidate says, "This president..."
  • A candidate whines about not getting called on enough.
  • Someone promises to "take America back."
  • Trump interrupts by saying, "Excuse me, let me answer that…"
  • The crowd cheers a racist/bigoted statement by a candidate.
  • A candidate mentions his poor/hardscrabble upbringing, or a parent who "worked every day of his life."
  • A candidate talks about "stopping Hillary Clinton."
  • Anyone warns the U.S. is becoming Greece.
  • Trump refers to himself in the third person.
  • Anyone invokes St. Ronald Reagan.

Drink every time a candidate:

  • Claims a positive relationship with a minority. 
  • Tries to speak Spanish.
  • Tries to warm up to the Ohio crowd with an awkward LeBron shout-out.
  • Mentions the Cleveland Browns.
  • Mentions the Cleveland Indians.
  • Mentions the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame.
  • Calls Cleveland a "Blue Collar Town."

Drink every time you hear the word(s):

  • "Some of my best friends are…"
  • "I'm not a scientist."
  • "Climate Change is make believe"
  • "You can keep your doctor."
  • "ACORN."
  • "The war on Christians."
  • "Thug."
  • "Right here in Ohio."
  • "Culture of dependency."
  • "Hands Up. Don't Shoot."
  • "I Can't Breathe."

Take a shot every time someone says:

  • "Kenya."
  • "All Lives Matter."
  • "Birth Certificate."

Chug your drink if anyone makes any reference to:

  • Hitler
  • Nazis
  • Neville Chamberlain
  • Related imagery, e.g. "ovens."
  • Hillary's emails
  • IRS Scandal
  • Benghazi
  • Monica Lewinsky, the dress, the stain or the cigar
  • Jon Stewart
  • Brian Williams
  • BridgeGate
  • Any other "gate"
  • Chris Christie being overweight

Let us know if any of you stayed sober.